XXVI

Sunita sat staring outside from the window when Rakesh came home. Rakesh said "Hi dear" and went upstairs. He didn't notice that he hadn't received any reply to his greeting. He went to his room and changed. Then thinking Sunita was resting, he went and made tea for her and himself. He came to Sunita, still sitting at the window and staring, holding two cups of hot brewed tea in his hands. He placed the cups on the small side table and sat down. "Sunita..." Sunita didn't answer, she was still sitting still. "Sunita..." Rakesh gently touched her by her shoulder.

"Huh??!!....Rakesh....when did you get home?" Sunita got startled by Rakesh's sudden touch. "Hey, it has been almost 20 minutes, dear....are you okay? how are you so lost?" "Oh God, I have no idea since how long I have been sitting here....." she dug her face in her hands. Rakesh lifted her face by her chin, "what happened, what's on your mind? Is something wrong?" Sunita told Rakesh about her conversation with Shiela, and how she is feeling empty since that.

Rakesh took a deep sip of the pipping hot tea and nodded listening to her. He had his own set of thinking clouds hovered over him. "Sunita, frankly speaking, now i'm really scared to even think about having children!" Rakesh shuddered. Sunita stared at him blank, deep inside she empathized with him. She knew he was right. "Rakesh," Sunita placed her hand on his right knee, "I know dear." she nodded, looking in his eyes. Rakesh felt confident by Sunita's touch, he smiled and nodded.

"Sunita!!" Shiela exclaimed, opening the front door to its full swing, " Oh I'm sorry,.....I should have knocked!" she stopped abruptly, seeing Sunita removing her hand from Rakesh's thigh. Sunita got up and welcomed Shiela. " No silly! its absolutely fine! Shiela nodded to greet Rakesh. Rakesh also smiled back and got up with the excuse to find the day's newspaper.

"I'm sorry Sunita, I didn't think Bhaisaheb would be here..." "Shhh...its okay." Sunita said, " so what's up?" Shiela regained her excitement, " I came up with a plan to organise a drawing competition in your school on the upcoming Republic day! So I came running to you, to tell you this" Sunita laughed, " You looked so excited for this?!.....okay okay, i'll talk to my principal Sir"

XXIII

"What are you doing to yourself??" Sunita stared open- mouthed towards Rakesh as he blurted out, "you used to be such a strong woman!!......what happened to you.....we are so happy together......and you are loosing over just one shortcoming in our lives?!" Rakesh paused for a moment. Sunita was still gasping at him.







Rakesh turned around, "I'm sorry i lost my cool.....I know you are going through a rough....very rough patch.....but it just.....it just feels like..." he paused, Sunita was still staring at him point blank, " it feels like I'm not doing enough.....we are together, happy, even after so much we went through....." he turned around and pulled Sunita into a hug, "I love you.....I hate seeing you this way". For 10 minutes both of them didn't say a word, they could just hear each other's heavy breathing

Sunita broke the silence, "I love you too Rakesh............thanks for being there f....""Shhhh...."Rakesh interrupted her,"no thanks and please" as he pulled her more tightly towards him. Sunita pushed him away, "hey, mumma must be waiting for us inside!! We forgot about her!" Rakesh sighed, "Yeah...I wish" Sunita nudged him in his stomach, by her elbow, "Hey!!" as they laughed and went inside.

"Oh ..there you are....I was getting worried" Mrs Devi said with a sigh of relief." Its okay mumma, we are good now...lets eat....I like this choupsey.....we should come her often!" All three of them laughed and finished their meal.

VIII

"I'm sorry, I had no idea!" Sunita said nodding disapprovingly. "It's fine dear, neither did I" Rakesh said consoling Sunita. The couple had visited a nearby Doctor's clinic to gather details about IVF, but after the discussion with the doctor, they were both a little disappointed.

According to the doctor, each trial would cost them a huge sum of money. Sunita was worried if they weren't successful the first time, they couldn't afford another trial. She was startled at the pricing of an individual trail, leave aside multiple trails. She was disappointed as the whole case solely dependent on her womb, on which she had obviously no control.

Rakesh tried to instill positivity in her, "Maybe we won't need another trial!" patting her head friendly. But Sunita was worried, "All our money will go waste if the trial is unsuccessful". " So what, I had never thought you would be such a great lifepartner before marrying you, we all have to take risks, haha!". "Huh!! Rakesh" Sunita swirled a pillow at Rakesh and smiled. Rakesh laughed at his success of making Sunita smile.

Sunita smiled seeing Rakesh laugh, after many days had she seen him laugh carefree. She somehow sensed positive vibes from his laugh. She felt maybe things things will turn positive now.

Sunita wasn't sure if she wanted to go for IVF, walking back from the clinic, after she had heard the doctor's conditions. But now, she thought they should give it a try, maybe this was the last struggle, maybe the outcome would be positive enough to make them forget all negativity in the world.