XII

"What is this place!" Mrs. Devi exclaimed, waiving her hands in circular motion, "such weird smells!" "What smells mother" asked Sunita, " Oh! I left the kheer on the stove!!"

Sunita hurried towards the kitchen, "obviously not that smell Sunita!" Mrs. Devi snapped poking her head out of the window, "I don't like the negative smell out here" " Oh Ma!! Not again! I'm not changing houses like Papa!!" Sunita said annoyingly, stirring the utensil with the red spatula, "I don't believe in all these smells that you get, and especially I don't believe your nose!" Sunita laughed and nudged her mother, "come i'll show you the rest of the house"

"You are not living in this house darling!" Said Mrs. Devi in a sharp imposing tone, after seeing the whole house and settling down on a sofa she found less negative"this place is not correct, I can sense it..... too negative!!" "Oh Ma, it's a great house, the society is for sure lifeless, not many people speak to me..... or among themselves even!" Sunita chuckled lightly, having decided not to spoil her mood by her mother's beliefs, "but I'm more concerned about my home, which is nice and also, best among what Rakesh and I could afford."

"I knew you wouldn't listen to me, which is why I invited Shastriji, he'll be here tomorrow evening..... and I'm sure will confirm whatever I'm saying." Mrs. Devi replied calmly. " Ma!! What was the need to involve him!" Sunita lost her cool, "I have just shifted to my first home and here you are..... and all of this.....God!!" "There is no need to overreact, lets just listen to him, what he has to say." Mrs. Devi replied in a calm tone presuming her daughter's reaction.

She knew there was something definitely wrong, and just wanted to ensure Sunita is safe.Mrs Devi looked at the clock waiting for the next day impatiently.

XI

"Hi Darling! Its okay.....it happens" Mrs. Devi hugged her daughter, stroking her hair in a comforting way.

Moments later, Sunita welcomed her mother indoors. "Rakesh is in office, he has promised to come home a little early." Sunita informed her, without any expressions on her face " .....and what shall I bring you....water, tea....coffee?"

" Bring a bright smile....if you could" Mrs. Devi said, holding Sunita's chin lovingly. Sunita sighed and stepped backward, making her mother lose her grip from her face. "Mother I told you on call too, I'm fine, I can manage....you didn't need to run down here in such a hurry" Sunita blurted out " and its not something new, I have faced this rejection before too....its fine...not everyone has babies!" " Yes, but not everyone wants one so badly, nor tries so hard!" Mrs Devi answered, ending Sunita's argument in one sharp blow, " You have to fight it, you can't just give up...cursing your bad luck....I fear this is some bad energy's work" " Maa!!" Sunita reacted sharply, " this is why I didn't wan't to discuss things with you....you somehow always manage to link up things with spirits and omens....and all that voodoo stuff!"

" Sweety, you know its not just ""Stuff""....things like these exist" replied Mrs Devi, " and I had warned you the same, when you took this house!!" said Mrs. Devi giving a sharp look to her daughter, " and you see...its not letting you be happy....and neither letting you go!"

" Namaste Maa" Rakesh greeted his mother-in-law, " how have you been?" Mrs. Devi hugged Rakesh. " I'm fine dear, just worried about you both" Rakesh smiled as her gave Sunita a smirk, and whispered in her ear " And the ghostly lectures begin!" Sunita controlled her laugh and nudged Rakesh to keep quite.

/*What did Mrs Devi warn Sunita about her house? Tune in for the next post to find out!!*/

X

"No....no... nobody else is to be blamed Rakesh, it's me, it's my fault.... nobody else...... I'm myself responsible for every damn thing" Sunita wept uncontrollably, "how can you blame yourself Sunita,..... for something which wasn't in our hands" Rakesh consoled her, "it's just..... our luck didn't favor us, it'll soon be alright! Everything will soon be fine" Rakesh pulled her head close his heart, stroking Sunita's head softly, like consoling a sobbing child.

Sunita sat next to window staring out towards the garden, the same place she had imagined her blissful future before the test. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Your coffee is getting cold dear" Rakesh tried taking her mind off the failed IVF procedure, recalling Sunita's face when she tested negative.

He wondered if the stars were playing a dirty game with him and Sunita. Or if he or Sunita weren't trying their best to fulfill their desire of extending their family.

He got up and switched on the TV, on the cartoon channel, Tom was chasing Jerry. " Sunita look our all time favorite!" Sunita turned towards the television screen and gave a weak smile to Rakesh. Rakesh knew it would take some load off the mind for a little while. He himself needed to clear up his mind for sometime.

A few moments passed Sunita had a little smile on her face watching Tom and Jerry's naughtiness. Rakesh smiled looking at Sunita, a little relived. Suddenly Sunita's lips curved towards the darker side, Rakesh turned towards the Tv and saw the commercial break showcasing baby products and a mother and baby cast showcasing their love. Rakesh got up and turned the Tv off and hugged Sunita.

"What could I possibly do to make you feel even a little better......" Rakesh sighed

ix

"Here we go" said Sunita taking a deep breath, "keep your fingers crossed, I have mine!" Rakesh smiled at Sunita 's innocence. He was well aware how tensed she was, but still trying to pose normal for him, to keep him calm and positive.

"I glued mine in the morning itself! They are inseparable now!" Rakesh winked at Sunita with a light chuckle. Sunita smiled, thinking about the turbulence in her head and the butterflies in her stomach.

One second she would imagine herself with a cute baby, the very next second she would see a distressed Rakesh consoling her for their loss, and would immediately brush the second image aside; such was her state of mind. Just like ocean waves crashing and calming down alternatively.

The click made by the key brought Sunita to her present self. She entered the house with mixed feelings, since returning from clinic. Rakesh was on phone with her mother-in-law. "Just hope things go well" muttered Sunita as she sat on the rocking chair thinking about the day's IVF session.

Staring out from the window of her room, she saw two cute little kids playing in the little lawn outside their home.From the translucent white lace of the window curtain, hazy faces filled with bright smiles appeared with pearly teeth shining in the light of sun. There was Rakesh too, looking younger and more handsome than ever playing with the kids. "Sunita...Sunita..." Rakesh was calling her, "hey, its time for the test" Rakesh nudged her by her arm, "common...wake up, its time". Sunita looked at the window, the same curtain was opaque now.

Rakesh looked at his watch impaitently, waiting for Sunita and the result of the test.

VIII

"I'm sorry, I had no idea!" Sunita said nodding disapprovingly. "It's fine dear, neither did I" Rakesh said consoling Sunita. The couple had visited a nearby Doctor's clinic to gather details about IVF, but after the discussion with the doctor, they were both a little disappointed.

According to the doctor, each trial would cost them a huge sum of money. Sunita was worried if they weren't successful the first time, they couldn't afford another trial. She was startled at the pricing of an individual trail, leave aside multiple trails. She was disappointed as the whole case solely dependent on her womb, on which she had obviously no control.

Rakesh tried to instill positivity in her, "Maybe we won't need another trial!" patting her head friendly. But Sunita was worried, "All our money will go waste if the trial is unsuccessful". " So what, I had never thought you would be such a great lifepartner before marrying you, we all have to take risks, haha!". "Huh!! Rakesh" Sunita swirled a pillow at Rakesh and smiled. Rakesh laughed at his success of making Sunita smile.

Sunita smiled seeing Rakesh laugh, after many days had she seen him laugh carefree. She somehow sensed positive vibes from his laugh. She felt maybe things things will turn positive now.

Sunita wasn't sure if she wanted to go for IVF, walking back from the clinic, after she had heard the doctor's conditions. But now, she thought they should give it a try, maybe this was the last struggle, maybe the outcome would be positive enough to make them forget all negativity in the world.

VII

Whenever Sunita saw Rakesh' s desolate face, she felt a little guilty. Also she desperately thought of things and idea that could make him happy. But all these materialistic things were temporary, his smile faded much quickly than it grew on his lips.

Sunita had always loved kids, and had always wanted one of her own. Now she felt it was the most important thing missing in her life. She decided to opt for IVF methods as it was high time Rakesh and she had been trying for a baby.

She knew Rakesh wouldn't agree initially as he had his favorite quote as 'nature has solutions to everything', and never believed in any thing which wasn't as per natures' ways. But nevertheless she decided to pursue the matter. She spoke to Rakesh about the same, Rakesh thoughtfully paused for a moment and then agreed.

There was a sudden spurge in Sunita's feelings, such a mix of surprise, happiness, but little disappointment too. She wasn't sure what she exactly felt, but was startled for sure. Surprised because she hadn't expected Rakesh to agree with her on such a sensitive and important issue so quickly. Happy obviously, but disappointed because she missed Rakesh's true self, who would have fought and argued with his nature's solutions philosophy which would have irritated Sunita so much, but now she missed it.

So Sunita and Rakesh decided to give IVF a try.

VI

A few years passed, Rakesh was back on his feet. Depression ate up most of his past few years as well as his health. Rakesh who had a radiant face now looked dull, with baggy eyes. Age and stress had taken toll on Sunita's health too.

Although Rakesh now had a decent job, Sunita continued her work as she felt at peace with kids at the school. The silence at their home and the society had begun to haunt her. She felt very restless entire day at home alone, with Rakesh at work.

Sunita loved kids, she and Rakesh had again started trying but luck hadn't favoured them yet. There had been increase in visits by moms and every visit had the hidden agenda of a lecture about raising family, as if Sunita and Rakesh didn't already want that or weren't trying enough.

The neighborhood had become even more deserted. Some of the senior members were no more with them. Some new tenants came, but left in few months, blaming the dead air of the society. One strange thing was that none of the new families had kids. There were already no kids in the existing households, and no new owners or tenants brought kids with them. Was it just a coincidence or did she only found it strange because she loved so much, thought Sunita.



Meanwhile the students at school loved her, she felt the teaching job was more than just a job for her. She found it a blessing, and thought she would bring her kids to the same school. A smile lightened her face dreaming of her walking her kids to her school.

Sunita missed Rakesh cheerfulness and his blithesome attitude. Since they had lost their dream home, Rakesh didn't speak much, he kept his thoughts to himself, and when Sunita pressurized him then only he used to share with her. She was worried that his attitude towards life had changed. It had become more negative, he didn't have big dreams like before, small things in life didn't make him happy now like before. She was although, positive that when they have kids, Rakesh will learn to live again.